Pitiful

So I'm starting to feel just pathetic. Nick has been on deployment for 5 months now and I think it's now just really starting to wain on me. IDK why I haven't been affected by it so much until now, but I can't seem to stop thinking about him now. It's just killing me inside because I miss him so much. I feel like all I can do is think about him lately, I even dream about him all the time now.

I feel so pathetic because I have been staying up WAYYY later than I normally would just hoping that he might get online (when I know he probably won't) It's not like I'm just staring at a computer all day, but sometimes I want to. This is just getting to be soooooo tough. Why isn't there some manual or handbook to get me through this...something to let me know when this stage will pass? I need this deployment to end and ASAP. I wanna hold him in my arms again and NEVER LET HIM GO. I MISS HIM AND LOVE HIM SO MUCH, I just want him back already.

Loving and Missing My Sailor More Everyday