Today = Heaven

Today was so amazing! I don't know where to start because it was just such an amazing day ( AND I only got 3 hours of sleep)

First off today was my last day of official classes EVER for my bachelors degree. If that is not something to celebrate I don't know what is. These past four years have gone by so quickly and I cannot believe I am graduating in 10 days!

Then ALL of my classes got out early. I had thought it was going to be miserable today. I had a portfolio due, a test, a quiz, and a final paper due. BUT my test was wayy easier than I thought, so was the quiz. I know I aced my paper, and my portfolio was up to par according to my professor (woot)

AND to put the icing on the cake . . . the one thing that made this day absolutely heavenly was that I got to skype with Nick. And it wasn't just for a few minutes, it wasn't even just for half an hour, WE SKYPED FOR AN HOUR AND A HALF!!! It was absolutely incredible. He kept telling me how much he missed me, how beautiful I am, how he can't wait to see me. He told me he is flying me out to Hawaii when he gets back because he can't wait much longer without seeing me! I mean he was absolutely PERFECT TODAY, AMAZING, INCREDIBLE, there are no words to describe how happy he made me today. He gave up all of his sleep for the night to talk to me <3

I don't think anything could compare to today. I am literally on cloud nine and I never wanna come down. I LOVE HIM SO SO SO SO SO MUCH.

Loving and Missing My Sailor More Everyday

Pitiful

So I'm starting to feel just pathetic. Nick has been on deployment for 5 months now and I think it's now just really starting to wain on me. IDK why I haven't been affected by it so much until now, but I can't seem to stop thinking about him now. It's just killing me inside because I miss him so much. I feel like all I can do is think about him lately, I even dream about him all the time now.

I feel so pathetic because I have been staying up WAYYY later than I normally would just hoping that he might get online (when I know he probably won't) It's not like I'm just staring at a computer all day, but sometimes I want to. This is just getting to be soooooo tough. Why isn't there some manual or handbook to get me through this...something to let me know when this stage will pass? I need this deployment to end and ASAP. I wanna hold him in my arms again and NEVER LET HIM GO. I MISS HIM AND LOVE HIM SO MUCH, I just want him back already.

Loving and Missing My Sailor More Everyday

Sometimes.....

I wish I hadn't heard from him at all this week. DON'T get me wrong it was amazing that I got to see him and talk to him, it definitely made my day! But sometimes it is just easier not hearing from him at all. Now I feel so sad cause I don't hear from him, and it's only been a few days. I went an entire month basically without talking to him, and although it sucked I feel like it was easier because I knew I wasn't going to hear from him. Now that I heard from him once I wanna hear from him again and again.

I know it's not realistic to think he will have time to talk to me all the time, I mean heck his own parents don't hear from him. It's just harder once I have heard from him. I just miss him so much, and the longer I go not seeing him, not being near him the harder it gets. I just wish this deployment would end already so that I could be back in his arms again!

Sorry, my whining is officially over with :P

Loving and Missing my Sailor More Everyday

Jealous

SO Nick and I got to talk yesterday :D it was as amazing as amazing gets. He said he was going to try and call me today too. OF course I got my hopes up and expected to hear from him, and I didn't. I KNOW he is working mega hard out there. But I must admit I got a little jealous when I knew he had called his mom and not me.

I feel like an awful person for being jealous too, because HE SHOULD HAVE called her. I should also mention it's her birthday which makes me that much more of a terrible person. But I got jealous knowing that he called her and not me :( I KNOW I shouldn't be, but I just am. She has every right to hear from him MORE than I do today, but still. . . . I want to hear from him too.

I guess I just got a little too spoiled yesterday getting to talk to him, and now I want to talk to him all the time, which is unrealistic. I know I'm being immature about the whole deal, but still it kinda hurt a little bit.

Loving and Missing my Sailor More Everyday

SKYPE

OMG OMG OMG OMG! I GOT TO SKYPE WITH NICK TODAY!!! It was heaven! I literally almost broke down into tears while we were talking. I couldn't stop smiling! I looked like total crap, and I didn't even care cause I've missed him sooooooo much!

The circumstances were just aligned so right for us today! I was actually supposed to be in class, but because I am sick my professor told me not to worry about it and to just go take care of myself. WELL, when I got back to my room NICK WAS ONLINE! I don't think I could ever be happy to be sick until today! I'm just beside myself with joy right now! I've missed him so much, and to finally hear his voice to see him, it was like floating on cloud nine!

We talked for like 20 minutes then he had to go cause he has to be up early in the morning, so he stayed up just for me <3 He was actually about to sign off when I said hello (fate i think so) But we talked about everything, from work, to me graduating to him wanting me to move out to Hawaii, to the day he comes home!!!! :D BEST DAY EVER!!!!

This could literally go on forever so I'm gonna stop because I'm sure I'm rambling now. But I'm just so darn happy! WOOHOO! LOVE HIM SO MUCH! I'm still in shock from talking to him.

LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE MY SAILOR MORE THAN ANYTHING

The Wait Is Gonna Drive Me Insane

I got to talk to Nick's mom today. It was refreshing to talk to someone who knows what I'm going through, and knows my exact situation. But we didn't get to talk long. We both asked if either of us had heard from him yet, and it was a big negative on both ends. So I guess I can't be too upset, I mean he hasn't contacted anyone, not even his own mother.

Just is starting to take a toll on me not hearing from him. I wish I could at least hear something. Every now and then he will respond to an email, but the responses are usually very very short like they were written in a hurry. I know he is working hard over there and is doing what he does best, just stinks that no one gets to hear from him EVER anymore. I went from hearing from him like clockwork every other Sunday to nothing at all....and him changing locations was supposed to make our communication better not worse.

But I'm gonna put my big girl panties on and stop complaining. I know there are worse things. I just keep telling myself "no news is good news". No matter how hard it is not hearing from him, at least when he does write back he says he misses me and can't wait to talk to me either. I will probably cry like a baby the day I finally do hear from him. Until then, I'm living each day off of what I have heard from him, and knowing that "no news is good news".

Loving and Missing My Sailor

April Fools

I just did the best/dirtiest april fool's joke on everyone haha! I sent out a mass text that read:

"I'm engaged!!! We were talking on the phone when he told me to get on skype NOW. When his screen finally loaded he was holding up his iPad with a huge smile on his face and on the screen it said "will you marry me?" in an app with fireworks. I started crying immediately and yelled YES!! the only sad part was that he wasn't here to celebrate and that you believed this. APRIL FOOLS"

Oh how it worked like a charm.....so evil of me but still soooo cunning.
APRIL FOOLS EVERYONE